Crutches

Recently I purchased an audio book for my i-pod about the life of King David. I loved this book when I read it in paperback version, so I decided to buy it for the i-pod so I could listen to it while I painted at work this summer. I just finished a chapter that God really used to speak to me about how I have been living my life. Funny, a book I have read three or four times already is useful in many different seasons of life (hmmm...maybe because it has BIBLICAL truth in it?) Anyways, this particular chapter talks about a difficult time in David's life when God was teaching David to rely on HIM and Him alone. David was stripped of his wife Michal (which was probably a blessing because she was a really lousy wife in the first place), his friend Jonathan, and his dignity (he had to live in a cave to hide from the madman King Saul). Poor David...that's what we want to say. But really, God was using this time to remove any crutch that David could use to lean on instead of God.

WOW...it struck me. I have always been dependent on other people. This past couple of years were hard for me because all those comfortable crutches I had leaned on all my life were being removed. I love my friends from college...they truly were my kindred spirits, but they have finished up college and moved on. God was gently trying to show me that HE was always there...He will never have to move away. Now, I still have those wonderful friends, they are just not as close in location as before, but God has become a bigger priority. I have had to learn to let Ryan be and do his own things too, which was hard. Husbands cannot be a crutch either. Ryan and I had a chance to go to Brazil this summer, but I had to decline the trip because of conflicts with my work schedule. In the back of my mind, a million scenarios played in my head. What if Ryan goes to Brazil and falls in love with the ministry and I am not there to share in the vision? What if he gets injured and I am not there to help him and be with him? Then, I realized that we are in the center of God's will and that is all there is to it. What peace!!! When God removes our crutches, at first we may feel some pain. It is then that we realize we do not have to walk on our own. Now that the crutches are gone, we have HIS strong arms to lean on instead. What a comfort!!! Oh the peace of God that passes all understanding!!!!