Showers

This has been the summer of baby showers and wedding showers for me. If my friend is not having a baby then she is walking down the aisle. I do not mind the shower part of it. I like seeing the blushing bride get excited about receiving a toaster as a present (goodness only knows that they will never again be that giddy over getting a painfully practical gift like that ever again). I even like seeing the VERY pregnant mom-to-be laughing as all her friends ooohhh and aaahhhh over the cute little outfits and shoes and baby blankets.

But, there is one part of the shower that I just do not get. What is it about ourselves that makes us want to share all the horror stories of life at these little affairs. No matter which circle you sit in, the women in the group will swap terrible, dreadful, fearful tales about "what happened to me at my wedding/birth." If you are at a bridal shower you hear about how awful the in-laws are (which I walk away from because God BLESSED, BLESSED, BLESSED me in that area...I have divine in-laws), then you hear about how the bridesmaids forgot their dresses, the cake was the wrong color, the flowers got to the wedding late, the limo got a flat tire, the groom's 3rd cousin, twice removed, fainted at the ceremony, or the best man forgot the rings. That is the last thing that any nervous bride wants to hear. We should be telling her all the wonderful things about weddings. OH, and then the marriage horror stories come out. "Just know that he will never put his clothes away." "Once you get married you never get a chance to hang out with your friends any more." Come on people...let's not scare her out of a wedding.

BUT the worst one is the new mom who has NEVER had a baby before in her life...and all her "friends" settle in around her while she opens her packages. While she opens a onesie, they talk about the horrors of labor. "I was in labor for 56 hours and the pain was so bad I think I would rather have slid down a banister of barbed wire." Then, as she opens a gift bag full of bottles her friends break out the tales of being poked and prodded by doctors by the hour. Then, just when she thinks the worst stories are behind her, they break out the "wait till you get the baby home and you get no sleep." The poor little mom to be is probably thinking that she wants to send her baby back rather than go through with this thing.

Now, dear people of the world. I have gotten married, and "YES" I did get my share of wedding horror stories at my showers. So, someday when the time for kids comes along, please spare me the nightmarish stories of labor and delivery. I have seen the discovery channel and what they left out...I can take a wild guess at what it will be like.