Happy

May 11th, 2014, A red carnation and a simple greeting. That's all it took. I stood on the dock holding that single carnation and I cried. I did not boo hoo or weep hysterically, but there were tears. They were the happiest tears on earth shed at the happiest place on earth. I had spent Mother's Day, with MY SON and husband at the Magic Kingdom. Never, ever over the course of the deep dark valley I had walked to motherhood did I ever think I would get there. On the way out of the park, an employee noticed us and handed me that single carnation and said, "Happy Mother's Day"...and for the first time since this journey to being a mommy began, it did not make me sad or cause me to cringe or make me feel like I needed to explain that I was a mommy but that none of my babies were here. No, all I did was smile, look at my miracle and say, "Thank you!" So, as we awaited the ferry boat to take us back to normal life and normal routines, I clutched that carnation in my hand and grabbed a baby wipe (cause I am a mommy now so I have them in my purse, in the stroller, and emergency stash in the car, and some in the diaper bag) to wipe up my face. In the stroller basket was that personalized Christmas ornament from the Disney Christmas store that I NEVER thought I would be able to buy. In the shopping bag was a Mickey Mouse toy, which I thought I would only ever buy for someone else's child (and always swore I would never buy for my own child anyway because eventually the stuffed animals have their own bedroom and your house is overflowing with them...but I don't even care...my baby is not even a year and I am pretty sure he has about 20 already). Since God sent us Joel and made me a mommy, there have been a couple of moments where I was just flooded with straight up thankfulness, joy, and happiness...and this was one of them. I did not care that we only rode a couple rides or that he had fallen asleep BOTH times we were getting ready to meet characters and take pictures. I did not care that I will be singing "It's a small world" for the next weeks...because that was his favorite. I did not care that I had take out delivered to our hotel room both nights so that way Joel could stay on his bedtime routine and not get over tired (mommy is also on a bedtime routine called "as soon as the baby crashes, so do I"). None of it mattered. It was Mother's Day. I am a mother. I am happy. And yes, I cannot wait to take Joel back there again!!!