It Took a Hurricane (Part 2)

So, how did I come to Clearwater Christian College? That's a long story that involves one very long Freshman year, several pivotal moments, and one nasty hurricane named Ivan. In the fall of 2004, I made my way to a certain Christian College in the panhandle of Florida that will remain nameless because... well, I think by the time I finish this post, you will see why. The school year started much like it would for any college freshman... there were the nervous butterflies about meeting your roommates for the first time, the slight fear about really being "on your own" for the first time and the like. I remember when my parents dropped me off and I made my way to my 4th floor dorm room, I cried in the elevator on my way up because it was just a really big unknown. I had just gotten settled into a routine, class schedule, a lunch table to eat at that was not super awkward, how to get my hose on and run to classes without being late when I overslept.... and it happened. They called a special assembly to let us know that a hurricane was headed for the campus and we needed to prepare. I will spare you all the details but the long story short was, we were told to brush our teeth, get a shower, and take care of "business" one more time before we were to be evacuated to shelters ON CAMPUS because there was no way of knowing when we would have the chance to do those type of things again (if the power went out or if we had flooding or major damage). Now, one would think that the students would be sent to homes of families that were part of the campus church, or students who lived within 6-8 hours could go home and take a roommate or two with them. But, that was not the case. We were going to shelter in place. As we were being moved from our dorm building to the "shelter", I looked to the sky and remember thinking what an eerie, threatening sky it was. Being from Wyoming originally, I had seen plenty of scary skies, but those were hail storms or tornadoes and I knew how to cope with those storms. A hurricane was a totally new event for me and I was afraid. I remember one moment of that night as I lay asleep on the floor, where I wondered if we were really safe and sound. But, I slept on. We were given the firm assurance that the campus was safe as a shelter. (It did not prove to be so. For me and my dorm mates, the storm passed over us without incident but for the men, their first choice of shelter--a classroom--flooded and they were sent on to the sports arena. For another group of men staying in the field house the AC unit later crashed through the roof and onto the floor where the men had been sleeping prior to being moved). When we woke the next morning, we were not given the all clear right way. Lunch boxes were delivered and we stayed in and attempted to keep from going stir crazy. Several of us may have started up a friendly game of indoor hockey with the "pucks" that were supposed to be our turkey bagels (there were frozen solid). Finally, the time came where we were permitted to leave the shelter and see what Ivan had done to the campus. It wasn't pretty. Windows broken, trees everywhere, screening from pools and windows strewn all about. There was no power and there was no running water. We were stuck here... there was no place to go. I had an agonizing decision to make. The school had decided that we could go home IF we had parents who could come get us, take us home, and have us back as soon as classes could resume (which was several days). However, my closest friend on campus was not a native of Florida. She came from North Dakota. I just didn't see how I could go home and leave her here miles and miles from anyone she knew. So, we stayed. Since we had no power, no AC, and no running water, We had to get creative. My dad came all the way from home and brought baby wipes (which we could have sold for $20 bucks a package by the end of this event), some fresh fruit, water bottles and some gallon jugs of water. So, we sat in the un air conditioned dorms until it got dark, and since we had no light, we went to sleep. I must say, living creatively as we were will bond you to a person for a lifetime. At one point, we were so desperate for a shower, we took turns standing in the shower with the other person on the other side of the curtain and dumping some of those precious water jugs over the top onto the other person (one of us may or may not have accidently dropped a jug on the other person's head). We weathered the storm and we attempted to finish the year and put all that behind us, but that just started the ball rolling. As the year progressed, I sensed that this was not the place for me. A rule infraction here, a demerit there... it all started to add up. But I had no idea where else I could go that I could afford. I also did not want to go too far away from my family. I seemed out of options... Then, one night, I called a friend from high school. She sounded like she was loving her college experience far more than I was. She sounded happy, she sounded busy, she sounded free. A tiny thought started growing in the back of my mind...I could go there, I could enjoy college...I can't afford it. End of thoughts. When the school year was coming to a close, I got the news I needed from the financial aid office at Clearwater Christian College...I could go. It would take a loan or two, work-study program, a little help from mom and dad, and a couple of academic scholarships that I would have to keep up. That was all I needed to hear. I packed up and said goodbye to the Freshman year chapter of my life and prepared to take on this new adventure. All that to say, where I started in college and where I ended were two different places but I have to say that my freshman year was not without some precious memories and learning experiences. I got a whole year with one of my dearest friends that I would have had otherwise. We made some awesome memories and had some real fun. I also learned a lot of patience. I am a rule follower and a people pleaser, and some of the rules I had to deal with during my freshman year were not what I would call my favorite. However, I got through it, with fewer than 100 demerits, and it taught me that even if I don't agree with my authority figures, I may have to do what I need to do in order to show them respect. It was a tough pill to swallow, but it happened and I am a better person for it. However, if my experience during my freshman year had been better, I probably never would have left. I never would have come to CCC. I never would have made the excellent friendships I made there and I never would have met my husband. It took a hurricane to shake my world up and bring me to the point of realizing that I was not happy where I was and I wanted to move on. That move took me to CCC... which is where the story will pick up next time. XOXO-- Amy

It Took a Hurricane (part 1)

This is going to be a series of posts for a couple of reasons. First, I will never be able to put all my thoughts or memories for this certain topic in one, coherent post. Second, I feel each of these parts deserves their own post. On Friday, I got word that my college was closing its doors. I was honestly very surprised by the amount of sadness that I felt over the school closing. I drove over to the school that very afternoon to get one last look at a place I loved so very much. There was a palpable sense of something coming to an end, and yet there was still such a sense of pride knowing that I got to be one of the privileged group who got to call this place home. I cried as I left the campus because I felt a little sorry for all the people who will never get to know that feeling of coming home to Clearwater. I stopped and took a picture of two (one of the notorious "white benches" where the love struck would sit and would be mocked by all... until I became love struck and occupied one of those very benches with my now husband). I got a picture of my residence hall and the café where I worked for two years. I took my little guy out and walked him around the campus for a little while. It felt good to see it again. But still, I felt sad. I suppose part of it is the fact that three of the happiest years of my life were spent there. I met my husband of 7 years there. I met some of the greatest friends in the world there (whom I still keep in contact with and love very dearly). Even after I graduated, the school was still very much a part of me. Any time I drove across the Causeway from a visit to Tampa, there was the little green sign informing the world that it was not just a bunch of mangroves and trees on the other side of Damascus Drive, it was a whole little world back there. For such a long time, every t-shirt I owned had a cougar on it and was black, white or maroon. When God took our sweet baby Hannah home to heaven, my former Psychology Professor met with me for counseling that I desperately needed and helped me take huge strides in the grieving process. Most of all, Clearwater was a family... and still is. The posts in future days are going to detail the journey God took me on to 1. Get me to Clearwater and 2. The wonderful memories and experiences He allowed me to have there. In future days, the title of these posts will also become clear. Gotta leave some mystery out there to keep you reading. To speak to the close of the school, there is so much I want to say and I think that writing is a great way to help you grieve. It helps you put those thoughts that have been swirling around into something that you can wrap your mind around and put to rest. I am sad that Clearwater is closing. But Clearwater is so much more than the buildings. Clearwater is the people. It is the professors that were willing to, in a very real way, pour their lives and time and energy into students who sometimes did not realize how much sacrifice that took until they were long gone from the campus. It is the Founder who took vision and made it a reality. It is the leaders who worked behind the scenes to keep the school working, from those in the guard shack to those who swept and mopped. God's work at Clearwater does not end with the close of the school. The vision of Clearwater goes on in each of us who have moved on to the next place God has taken us. When we live lives of testimony and reflect our Savior to this very lost and dark world, THAT is Clearwater. When we carry the Gospel to those who haven't heard, THAT is Clearwater. When we love others as Christ first loved us, THAT is Clearwater. That's what will continue on, long after the campus would have. It matters not why the school closed or when its last days will be. It is insensitive and not necessary to speculate why or put blame on anyone. The closing of CCC did not catch our Heavenly Father by surprise. "For such a time as this" rings in my heart these past few days. God had Clearwater exist for 49 long years to equip students to serve HIM better and it accomplished that for sure. There are CCC grads all over the place doing KINGDOM work! Arguing over why it closed and fuming over it makes no difference. During my days at the school the motto was, "Impact eternity"-- in fact I have a coffee mug, a commencement program and a diploma all stamped with that very concept. That is what matters about Clearwater now... Impact eternity. We can do that by praying for the students who will need to trust the Lord to take them to their next location. We must pray for those wonderful teachers and staff members who are leaning on HIS everlasting arms in a VERY real way in the days and months ahead. We can have impact by doing what we were trained to do at Clearwater. If we are teachers, lets teach with all our might for the Glory of God. If we are engineers, or businessmen or electricians... lets be truth to those who have no idea what that is anymore. If we are homemakers, lets raise the next generation to know right from wrong and stand on God's promises. If we are pastors, let's proclaim the Gospel like never before. THAT'S having impact. 

 See you in the next post XOXO --AMY