Open Letter

Dear Little Boy, I have actually fought with myself over this letter to you. Should I write it? Who would be offended? Who would it bother? I fought with myself for at least three days. I mean, I don't know you, you are not in my family, and I won't ever meet you until the day I die and enter heaven. But I felt it needed to be written. Then today, I couldn't fight it anymore. I was tending to my day, just like any other Saturday. But, on my way to the store, I saw the straw that broke the camel's back. There were the protesters where they are almost every Saturday. They were gathered in front of the clinic that murders babies just like you. This time though, they were trying to talk to a woman who was leaving that place of death. But, by looking at her face and the sadness etched in it, I knew it was too late to save her baby. I was hoping she would take their information, because I know for a fact she will wish she had never made that choice but she may need help to cope with the path she now finds herself on. I am not ignorant. I know abortion exists. I teach history. Roe v. Wade is a case I cover every year when we finally make it into the "modern" part of Modern American History. I also know it existed long before that "big" case. However, I never put a face to it, until I watched the video that introduced you to the world. I had to force myself to watch it. I have never aborted a baby. I believe it is murder. I had a different reason for not wanting to watch it. I begged God for babies. I have been pregnant four times... but I have only held two of my babies and only brought one baby home to stay. I did not wish that on myself. I would not wish it on the most hated of enemies. But, given my history of loss, I hope you understand why I did not watch it sooner. I couldn't do it. It made me angry. Every time they talked about you I wanted to scream at the screen "I want that little boy...I would take him. Please don't kill any more of them... send them to me." But, I made myself watch it. And I wept. I wept tears for all I have lost. I wept for all the other nameless babies who had been killed. I even wept for your mother, whoever she is. I can imagine that in the future she will feel agony every time the day you were due passes by. Another year without you. I know I still get sad when I see a little girl who is as old as my Hannah would have been by now. I still stay home on her birthday. Most of all, I wept for you. You didn't get a name and you didn't get a family. Rather, the world met you because someone murdered you and then callously sold you. Yet, the butcher who took your life and your organs took the time to tell the world, "it's another little boy". Its a phrase that should have been uttered with joy while you exercised your voice for the first time in this new world you would have found yourself in. It should have been uttered to the couple who could never have children of their own but would have been getting you because you were going to be adopted. Now, I know you were a human soul long before the world met you. You were a human soul before your mommy knew you existed. God knit you together. Its because of this sin cursed world that I have to write this letter to you. Evil did this to you. I also know that even though you likely felt pain when you were taken from your mother's body...I rest in knowing that you will never again feel pain because you are at home with God. You are safe and there you are loved. I do want you to know, however, that while your mom may not have wanted you or loved you... this mommy would have taken you in a heart beat. I have held in my very hands the little lives of my own babies that are in heaven with you. And what those murderers called "tissues" and "products", I called "my sweet baby" and wept when they were gone. While in my heart I blamed myself for their loss, in my head, I knew there was nothing I could have done differently. God is sovereign. He took my babies home... maybe to spare them a life of pain. But whatever the reason, I am thankful I got to carry them until He called them. Know this, little boy, many mourned you when your story hit the airwaves. We also mourned the millions of others, just like you, who never got the chance to know a mother's kiss, a daddy's hug, a first birthday cake, or milestones that make up this earthly life. I also want you to know, sweet boy, that this genocide against babies like you has to stop. This mommy's heart can't watch any more of those videos. I can't. The only way that will stop is if the murder of babies like you stops. I will do my part. I promise you. I am happy you get to enjoy heaven. I am sure my babies have already introduced themselves to you (their daddy is very outgoing so I am sure they are quick to meet new arrivals like yourself). We will meet someday. When we do, I will have you to thank for helping me see what's right in a world that has gone crazy with wrong.