A Tuesday Morning

I will never forget. I will never be able to forget. I remember that Tuesday morning like it was just yesterday. The memories, the images, the thoughts, the raw emotion...it is etched in my mind forever. I woke that morning with a sense of anticipation. I loved Tuesdays. At that time, I was 15/about to turn 16 and I was painfully shy. My parents had encouraged me to join the Speechcrafters club (a speech and debate club...nerd alert...I know). So, Tuesdays were always a fun day for me. I woke early that day. My mom had already left for work so that meant I was fending for myself for breakfast, which I kind of liked because I loved to cook. So, I made my way into the kitchen. I had just put a pan of blueberry muffins in the oven when I heard my dad exclaim "Oh my!" from the basement. Now, in an ordinary setting, this is a normal, daily occurrence. My dad is a big news enthusiast and almost always he will read something or see something and he will make a comment like "I never would have believed it", "Oh Wow", or "Look at this." Then, of course, you will say "What is it dad?" to which you will get no response. In fact, normally he never answers but rather forces you to come over to him to see what he is seeing. It still makes me laugh when I think about that quirk of his. Well, this day, I called downstairs, "What it is dad?" No answer. I waited. I called him again. Nothing. Annoyed I left my post in the kitchen and tromped down the stairs. Once I reached the floor...I knew why he did not answer. The WTC was on fire. I stood there transfixed. "Dad, what happened?" "A plane hit it...the place is on fire." And then the unthinkable happened, I watched live on television as another jet smashed into the South Tower. I remember that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I did not understand anything about Terrorists...about people who hated America enough to purposely kill themselves and others for a cause. The rest of the day was a blur. I remember watching the television till my eyes burned. I remember seeing people, having to make a choice of burning to death or jumping to the ground, choosing the later of the two options...those images still to this day haunt my memory. I remember sobbing with friends as we considered the huge mass of humanity that went into eternity today. I remember the surge of hope and patriotism and a band of firefighters chanted USA while our President chocked back tears standing on top of a crushed fire truck. I remember his promise that "those who knocked down those two buildings would hear from all of us soon." I remember the dust-covered firefighters and first responders rushing TOWARD the WTC while others were running away in terror. I remember, for that day, being a New Yorker, even though I had NEVER been there. I remember it all.
I am a part of a unique generation, I feel like. Most of the people in my age group were young enough to be innocent of the caliber of evil we witnessed that day, but in that instant...we knew, we understood that America would never be the same. We worried if we would get to see our own wedding days, or if we would ever get to be parents. Through my 15 year old eyes, the future looked uncertain at best. I was also not yet a believer, so the terror I felt was intensified even higher. It would be another two years before I could say, "I know where my eternity lies."
So, here I am, 10 years later. The attacks of 9/11 changed my world for all time. In every generation, there are moments where you remember where you are, what you were doing, even sometimes what you were wearing when you heard "the news." I remember where I was when the radio started covering the Columbine tragedy, I even have a vague memory of the Oklahoma City Bombing. My parents remember the lunar landing (sketchy details because they were pretty young). My grandparents have even more of those moments...the Kennedy assassination, declaration of WWII, D-day, Pearl Harbor, and so much more. To my students, I told them that those moments leave an impact on you...it is part of being trapped IN history. Unfortunately, their life will have those moments too. It happens to all of us. We live those moments. We feel every agonizing emotion. I know that the events of that day may get fuzzier as the pages of my life get filled with more and more history. However, there are parts that will never grow dull. One thing I do know, I am still proud to be an American because with all our faults and problems...there is STILL no place like America.
On this, the 10th anniversary of that terrible day, I rest in the fact that I know the ONE who saw that whole tragedy and yet HE was not panicked or terrified. You cannot terrorize MY GOD. He is holy and righteous and the judge of all. HE knows the timeline of history down to the last second. Praise God I do not have to be afraid of tomorrow and the problems or even joys it may contain...I know the ONE who KNOWS the future.